"Look, Jim, look! See breasts." I hate talking this way, but it's his fetish.

            "Jim sees! Sees Mary's breasts."

"Kiss! Kiss Mary's breasts!"

            "Jim kisses. Jim kisses Mary's breasts."

"Look, Jim! See Mary's vagina."

            "Jim sees! Jim kisses vagina."

I abruptly sat up in bed. "I can't do this today, babe. Sorry."

Jim partially sat up, his weight on his elbow, and shrugged. "Thanks for trying." His cock started wilting.

"I'm 24, you know. I passed the three-word sentence stage a long time ago."

He pointed at my naked body. "I like 24."

I smiled, then worried. "You have no attraction to children? Are you sure?"

He emphatically shook his head no. "Positive. None. I just have a children's reader fetish." He added, "I know, that's a little unusual."

"A little unusual? Unique does not begin to capture how unusual that is."

"I, um, excited myself for the first time while I was reading an old Dick and Jane reader. I guess I imprinted on something about the words."

"You were excited by Jane?"

"Huh? No, to her mother. She was so calm and mature and friendly. And she had breasts like softballs. Her dark brown hair, and –"

Hmmm. "I have dark brown hair."

"And you have breasts like softballs," he added.

"Is that a coincidence?" I studied his reaction.

He shrugged. "A lot of women have dark brown hair. I love you."

"And you would love me as much if I was blond?"

"Of course."

"I was thinking of dying my hair blond."

"Uh . . .  uh . . . do you have to?"

I smile wickedly. "Would that be a problem?"

He smiled back. "Let's not go looking for problems. Your hair is already so beautiful." He softly stroked my hair.

I shook her head in wonder, just to be in this strange situation. And I told him, "I love you too."

"I know. Thanks."

"But I don't like this part of you."

He looked up into my eyes. "I hate it."

"I guess it could have been worse."

He smiled wryly. "I could have had my first orgasm reading A Tale of Two Cities."

I laughed. "I wasn't heading in that direction. But yeah, that too."

"And I put up with you chewing food with your mouth open."

I lightly punched his arm. "Those are not remotely comparable."

He nodded. "Point taken. You don't have any weird fetishes I could accommodate?"

"Nope." I thought for a moment. "That bothers you? I mean, that I chew with my mouth open? I didn't even know I did."

"You do. But it's not a big deal."

"No, I'll stop."

"Don't stop! Then you'll be perfect and I won't have anything to trade."

"Perfect?" I don't mind hearing that again.

"Perfect. Your quick mind. Your generous nature. The way you make me happy to be alive."

"What about my insecurities and occasional neediness?"

"Ah, those. I love your smooth skin. Moving like a graceful cat, making me want to consume you."

I swallowed. "Um, consume me?" My breathing sped up.

"Consume you. I want to have my lips all over your body, kissing and caressing. Entering you and possessing you. Body and mind."

"Oh." I bit my lower lip.

"Oh?" He arched one eyebrow.

"Ummmm . . . " I took a breath and said softly, "See Mary."

His cock started rising. "Jim sees Mary."

"Kiss Mary." I slid back into a lying position. "Kiss skin. Consume Mary."