I want . . . I want a spiral. It's a disappointment to see just a blank computer screen. The spiral is so good. it makes me so happy. The words make me happy.

DREAD. Suddenly I'm filled with fear. Something is wrong!

I'm in danger!

I look around. I forgot, I'm on my new job, I'm a secretary here, and I was suppose to be . . . reading a report? I don't remember what I was supposed to be doing, but I obviously wasn't working -- I woke up groggy. I could have been fired if the wonderful Mr. Bernard had seen me.

No, that's not it. I'm in danger of getting unbearable pain. Pain so bad I would wish I was dead. I have to do something. I have to have sex with someone right now, or else I'll get unbearble pain.

But sex with who?

Call up my boyfriend Jason for a midday quickie? No, he's too tall. He won't do. That hunk of a bartender who is always hitting on me? No, too strong. But I have to find someone. Really quick. Can I just go down to the lobby and fuck the guard at the door? No, he's my age, he's too young.

I'm going out of my mind with panic when I suddenly realize . . . Mr. Barnard! He's perfect. If I can get him to fuck me right now I won't get unbearable pain.

But how?

Will he fuck me even though I'm a virgin? I was saving myself for my future husband, but this is way more important. My hands are starting to shake with fear. My God, I have to do this. Somehow. BUT HOW?

I get up unsteadily and walk on my heels to the door to his office. I knock. "Come in," he says. Thank God, I don't know what I would have done if he was busy. Probably barged in anyway. I open the door.

And step into his office. I still don't know what I'm going to do.

Mr. Bernard is the most handsome man I have ever seen. I love how his hair combs over his bald spot. I just want to take that hair in my hands, and run my fingers through it, and pull him to my chest. I imagine him sucking on my breast and I can feel myself starting to get excited.

And he's older. I never thought about it before, but older guys are so wise and knowledgeable. I can imagine his fingers expertly probing and rubbing my clit. My knees are weak.

And he's not all built up and dangerous looking. He's about my height, with an unmuscled body. I want to just rip his clothes off and stare at his naked chest and thighs. And cock. I want to see his cock. and I want to suck on it so much. I want to suck him until he comes, but -- fright -- I need him to fuck me so I don't get unbearable pain.

He is so out of my league. What's he going to see in a 19-year-old ex-cheerleader? Probably just someone who can just bounce her boobs. I am so inadequate for him.

This seems so hopeless.

But I have to try. I don't want unberable pain.

He smiles knowingly at me. "What did you want, Miss Halpin?"

Those words try to force their way out of my mouth. But if I said that, he would think I was such a slut. Though, I realize, he seems really nice and would be happy to help me out.

"I was, uh, I guess . . . I was lonely, so I thought I would come in." My face turns totally red with embarrassment. That was the worst line ever.

He smiles so kindly at me! "Well, we don't want you being lonely." He tilts his head. "Do we?"

"Um, no. I mean, right, no, I don't want to be lonely. I guess no one does. But yeah, that's what I was thinking. Being lonely. Me." I'm blabbering like an idiot.

The distance between us is only a few feet, but it seems so far. I want to leap across his desk and press my body into his. And our clothing is in the way. I want us both to be naked. I want him to want me. I want to feel his skin on mind.

But no, I'm just a secretary, on her first day. I'm just supposed to stand here. Or, really, I should leave.

He says wisely, "I don't want to be lonely either."

He doesn't? I look up eagerly. "Can I help? Ugh, that was totally inappropriate. "I mean, in a secretarial way?" Why did I say that? What the hell is a secretarial way? God, I feel like such a bimbo standing in front of this intelligent man.

"Well, I guess I'll just get back to work." I turn around and walk out, carefully shutting his door. I had to leave. I just wanted to take off my clothes and throw myself at him. How inappropriate.

Terrible fear -- I forgot about the unbearable pain. I don't want to go back to my desk and feel that pain. I just can't do it.

I knock again. I should feel like an idiot, but I'm too distressed and anxious. He again says "Come in", and I step into his office.

I try to think of how to explain that I'm here. I can't think of anything.

I try to explain why I just left and now I'm coming back. No explanation for that either. I try to think how I can behave appropriately and be a proper secretary while getting him to fuck me so I don't get unbearable pain. That's beyond impossible.

"Would you do me a favor?" I ask as I unbutton the top button on my blouse. He smiles kindly. I think he'll help me with anything, that's just the type of person he is.

"I will try." I finish unbuttoning my blouse and I take it off. He asks gently, "What's the favor?"

The favor? Oh yeah, I asked for a favor. I unzip my skirt, pull it over my hips, and let it fall to the floor. "It's, um, a favor. Something I need."

I step out of my heels and pull down my panty hose. He asks, "What do you need?"

It's hard to balance on one foot and pull my panty hose off the other foot. Distractedly, I say, "You to fuck me." I get it off the one foot and then start the other. "Sorry for my language. Have intercourse with me." I don't care what he calls it.

"That's a lot to ask," I admit. I stop. I panic. "I know, but . . "

"But I'll help." Thank God. I reach behind me and unhook my bra."I know you're busy, but this is important to me."

He smiles. "I imagine it is." I shuck off my bra and pull down my panties. Now I'm standing naked in front of him.

He stands up. He already has his pants and underwear off -- he must have taken them off before I came in. That's good, it'll save time. His cock is hard, and it's the perfect size. He strokes it twice.

"What can I do to make this good for you? " I want to please him, plus he's doing me a big favor.

"Bend over."

I do, and he thrusts into me from behind. I love how assertive he is. I love how he gets right to business without wasting time on foreplay. He sinks into me and I feel my appreciation.

He thrusts in and out of me. I should feel guilty, but I don't -- probably a lot of secretaries let their bosses fuck them, that's so natural. He comes quickly, pushing inside of me and holding himself in me. I am filled with pleasure.

Now it's safe to suck on his cock, so when he withdraws from me I turn around and suck on his cock for a little while. But he gets soft, then orders me back to work. I get dressed while he gets dressed and returns to his work, then I leave.

**************

"I'm not in the mood tonight, Jason." I push his hand away.

"What? Babe! You're always in the mood. That's one of the things I love about you." He reaches for my breast but I push his hand away again.

It never bothered me before how tall he was. I thougt it was supposed to be good. But now his height just disgusts me. And he's so young and immature. And all that hair -- he disgusts me.